If you allow circumstances to shape your vision, then there’s no need to being born – Victor Ogedegbe
Perhaps the above quote bears no relevance to this post; I think it’s too relevant to be ignored. By the way, I heard those words direct from the horses’ mouth last night in a telephone conversation and I immediately felt it might encourage/challenge someone out there.
Today marks another cycle in my existence in this realm and I will like to wish myself a Happy New Year, like I say to people on their birthday. The thought of birthdays I reckon symbolises our recognition, as humans, of our “date of manufacture”. Although, one may argue that a man’s date of manufacture is the day s/he was conceived, I doubt if the brightest of scientists can determine this date accurately – the reason why an expectant parent would only be given “expected date of delivery” which is only a guess.
Until a few years ago when a group of guys from my fellowship on campus paid me a surprise birthday visit, I hardly remembered my birthday! Until my birthday in 1999, I only remembered my birthday when I had to fill forms. Hopefully, this would offer an explanation to some friends who have held it against me that I didn’t remember their birthday pre-1999.
It’s overwhelming sometimes when on your birthday you receive a barrage of e-mails, phone calls, text messages and cards from well wishers wishing you a Happy Birthday. Sometimes, your phone can’t even handle the traffic of text messages which are competing to be the first to register on your phone on your birthday. People stay awake and hold their fingers on their phones with their eyes on the clock waiting to press the “send” button at the click of 12 midnight just to wish you a Happy Birthday. I’m no exempt from this practise.
I marvel at the commitment of keeping someone in your thoughts so much that you stay awake to let them know how much they are in your thoughts on a day which you singled out. With modern technology, I realise that you don’t need to have someone in your thoughts to remember their birthday. You could program your phone, computer or PDA to remind you EVERY YEAR when it’s Ted’s birthday. That sort of diluted the “wow” feel when birthday messages are received these days. I will however be careful not to discount the commitments of people who genuinely keep you in their thoughts, not just on your birthday or a few weeks/days before your birthday but all year long.
Today, actually, starting from yesterday, I’ve received texts and e-mails from friends from across various geographical locations. I’ve also received quite a number of routine birthday messages and “look forward” to hearing form the individuals who sent them again, next year – yes next year; at least they obey their computers/Facebook prompts to communicate every 8th of March.
That raises the question about our motivation as individuals in our relationship with other people especially those that we call friends. Several years ago, circumstances of life compelled me to be at the mercy of a relative. Seven out of ten times when I showed up at his door, he put something in my pocket. Five years later on, I needed something more. As a growing boy, when I longed for someone to talk to; someone to share my worries, anxieties and concerns about life with, there was no one. The money in my pocket couldn’t meet this need. I felt a void which material things could not fill.
In spite of his “generosity”, I got to a point when I realised how vain money and material things can be in the whole scheme of things in life.
Someone gave me a card today which she suspected I may not like. But she was quick to add that “it’s the thought that counts” And I agree totally. I do not see the colour of the card or the funny cartoon at the back. I see the thoughts behind the card and that is what I appreciate. A group of work colleagues gave me a card with wordings which a number of them suspected may not go down well with my religious persuasion. But the card didn’t matter. I saw the handwritten words and the warm thoughts behind the words. That was all that mattered.
I have today been overwhelmed with Birthday wishes from friends and people that I call “pseudo friends”. However, I do not feel the birthday excitement that most people feel. The excitement that I felt 2, 3, 4, 5 years ago is not there. Rather, I am sober and I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on what relationship means to me. Is it all about remembering people’s birthdays and sending them a text message or e-mail once in a year? Is it about that once-in-a-year phone call? How do I initiate, establish, nourish and keep relationships with people? How do I make my presence in the life others count? How do I make myself more than a ninja figure in people’s life?
A genuine relationship should not be a “take and give” affair. I think if we can stay committed to our friends everyday with the same commitment that we remember their birthdays, it would go a long way. We might actually be the ones to benefit more from it! With relationships comes commitment, compromise and sacrifice
A few years ago, a random “I’ve called just to say hi” phone call saved a friend from what would have turned out to be loads of trouble. If we're surrounded by the right people, life can be so beautiful.
In 2006, a preacher called Dr. Albert Odulele visited my church during our annual convention. It is usually a three-day event. During one of the sessions, the man made a call to people who were thinking of caving in to the pressures of life or people who had at any point contemplated suicide to come out so that he would pray for them. I could not believe my eyes! The army of men that came out was unbelievable. One of the guys on the keyboard played with so much vigour and skill you would think he was on loan from heaven. I could not believe that a man with so much “anointing” could contemplate suicide! One of the tenor guys was so good ladies were asking for autographs. He was out as well. He needed help too! And I thought wait a minute, he’s got friends! He sings so well. So what is his problem? I was out too, wondering how I got to that stage. But then I realise that perhaps it is not enough to minister to only the physical needs of our friends. Material things will fade away and cease but relationships are enduring. Dr Albert could identify with these folks because he had been there himself. As a pastor, he had at a point in his life contemplated taking his own life!
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making my day such a special one today. But then, beyond the euphoria of the season, I’d like to leave you with the message that it is friends that could cover your “nakedness” the way no fabric will ever do.
Someone asked me how I spent my day today. Well, it’s been an unusually quiet one and I’ve been reflecting on the journey up till this spot and the journey ahead. I have taken stock and have been reassessing my life’s “business case” for the New Year. I’ve been reflecting on my many “narrow escapes” I’ve been reflecting on the journeys through the valleys of the shadow of ‘death’ I’ve been reflecting on those boys and girls in Darfur, in Iraq, Afghanistan. I think about those boys who wake up and sleep to the deafening and shattering sounds of rockets and machine guns. I think about those guys who go for their birthday shopping and never came back home. And down on my knees, I realised it could have been me…
Happy Buffday Oluwafemi
Perhaps the above quote bears no relevance to this post; I think it’s too relevant to be ignored. By the way, I heard those words direct from the horses’ mouth last night in a telephone conversation and I immediately felt it might encourage/challenge someone out there.
Today marks another cycle in my existence in this realm and I will like to wish myself a Happy New Year, like I say to people on their birthday. The thought of birthdays I reckon symbolises our recognition, as humans, of our “date of manufacture”. Although, one may argue that a man’s date of manufacture is the day s/he was conceived, I doubt if the brightest of scientists can determine this date accurately – the reason why an expectant parent would only be given “expected date of delivery” which is only a guess.
Until a few years ago when a group of guys from my fellowship on campus paid me a surprise birthday visit, I hardly remembered my birthday! Until my birthday in 1999, I only remembered my birthday when I had to fill forms. Hopefully, this would offer an explanation to some friends who have held it against me that I didn’t remember their birthday pre-1999.
It’s overwhelming sometimes when on your birthday you receive a barrage of e-mails, phone calls, text messages and cards from well wishers wishing you a Happy Birthday. Sometimes, your phone can’t even handle the traffic of text messages which are competing to be the first to register on your phone on your birthday. People stay awake and hold their fingers on their phones with their eyes on the clock waiting to press the “send” button at the click of 12 midnight just to wish you a Happy Birthday. I’m no exempt from this practise.
I marvel at the commitment of keeping someone in your thoughts so much that you stay awake to let them know how much they are in your thoughts on a day which you singled out. With modern technology, I realise that you don’t need to have someone in your thoughts to remember their birthday. You could program your phone, computer or PDA to remind you EVERY YEAR when it’s Ted’s birthday. That sort of diluted the “wow” feel when birthday messages are received these days. I will however be careful not to discount the commitments of people who genuinely keep you in their thoughts, not just on your birthday or a few weeks/days before your birthday but all year long.
Today, actually, starting from yesterday, I’ve received texts and e-mails from friends from across various geographical locations. I’ve also received quite a number of routine birthday messages and “look forward” to hearing form the individuals who sent them again, next year – yes next year; at least they obey their computers/Facebook prompts to communicate every 8th of March.
That raises the question about our motivation as individuals in our relationship with other people especially those that we call friends. Several years ago, circumstances of life compelled me to be at the mercy of a relative. Seven out of ten times when I showed up at his door, he put something in my pocket. Five years later on, I needed something more. As a growing boy, when I longed for someone to talk to; someone to share my worries, anxieties and concerns about life with, there was no one. The money in my pocket couldn’t meet this need. I felt a void which material things could not fill.
In spite of his “generosity”, I got to a point when I realised how vain money and material things can be in the whole scheme of things in life.
Someone gave me a card today which she suspected I may not like. But she was quick to add that “it’s the thought that counts” And I agree totally. I do not see the colour of the card or the funny cartoon at the back. I see the thoughts behind the card and that is what I appreciate. A group of work colleagues gave me a card with wordings which a number of them suspected may not go down well with my religious persuasion. But the card didn’t matter. I saw the handwritten words and the warm thoughts behind the words. That was all that mattered.
I have today been overwhelmed with Birthday wishes from friends and people that I call “pseudo friends”. However, I do not feel the birthday excitement that most people feel. The excitement that I felt 2, 3, 4, 5 years ago is not there. Rather, I am sober and I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on what relationship means to me. Is it all about remembering people’s birthdays and sending them a text message or e-mail once in a year? Is it about that once-in-a-year phone call? How do I initiate, establish, nourish and keep relationships with people? How do I make my presence in the life others count? How do I make myself more than a ninja figure in people’s life?
A genuine relationship should not be a “take and give” affair. I think if we can stay committed to our friends everyday with the same commitment that we remember their birthdays, it would go a long way. We might actually be the ones to benefit more from it! With relationships comes commitment, compromise and sacrifice
A few years ago, a random “I’ve called just to say hi” phone call saved a friend from what would have turned out to be loads of trouble. If we're surrounded by the right people, life can be so beautiful.
In 2006, a preacher called Dr. Albert Odulele visited my church during our annual convention. It is usually a three-day event. During one of the sessions, the man made a call to people who were thinking of caving in to the pressures of life or people who had at any point contemplated suicide to come out so that he would pray for them. I could not believe my eyes! The army of men that came out was unbelievable. One of the guys on the keyboard played with so much vigour and skill you would think he was on loan from heaven. I could not believe that a man with so much “anointing” could contemplate suicide! One of the tenor guys was so good ladies were asking for autographs. He was out as well. He needed help too! And I thought wait a minute, he’s got friends! He sings so well. So what is his problem? I was out too, wondering how I got to that stage. But then I realise that perhaps it is not enough to minister to only the physical needs of our friends. Material things will fade away and cease but relationships are enduring. Dr Albert could identify with these folks because he had been there himself. As a pastor, he had at a point in his life contemplated taking his own life!
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making my day such a special one today. But then, beyond the euphoria of the season, I’d like to leave you with the message that it is friends that could cover your “nakedness” the way no fabric will ever do.
Someone asked me how I spent my day today. Well, it’s been an unusually quiet one and I’ve been reflecting on the journey up till this spot and the journey ahead. I have taken stock and have been reassessing my life’s “business case” for the New Year. I’ve been reflecting on my many “narrow escapes” I’ve been reflecting on the journeys through the valleys of the shadow of ‘death’ I’ve been reflecting on those boys and girls in Darfur, in Iraq, Afghanistan. I think about those boys who wake up and sleep to the deafening and shattering sounds of rockets and machine guns. I think about those guys who go for their birthday shopping and never came back home. And down on my knees, I realised it could have been me…
Happy Buffday Oluwafemi
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